There are no lazy ethnic minority soldiers

None at all, in fact.

All ethnic minority soldiers are paragons of martial virtue.

In other news, a Tory MP, B.L. Unt, shadwo spokesman for European Cohesiveness, has been rightly sacked for drawing attention to the proportion of the EU's budget that goes up in fraud each year.

Said Party Leader Davis Cameron, "There is no place in society, much less in a modern Conservative Party, for this kind of anti-European discrimination".